I WANT A BLT
PONCHO: The really smug way to say “shawl”. I used to own a poncho. My grandma gave it to me. It was made out of a really fragile material, so I couldn’t wash it. Ever. My teacher always insisted on rubbing her hands all over it whenever I wore it because it was soft. I stopped wearing it to school.
SIZZLE: Bacon. Lots of bacon. Bacon on a sandwich. BLT. I’m really hungry and I want a BLT, okay?
DINGLE: I don’t like this word. Makes me think of that song where the guy made some weird read-between-the-lines joke about his new “ding-a-ling” toy.
SMOCK: I don’t know what this word means, but it makes me think of “smack”, which makes me picture someone eating yogurt, which repulses me. It sounds like smacking, but with your mouth in a more oval shape. This is gross.
STRAWBERRY: I have strawberries in my lunch today. I also have a sandwich. Again, I’m really hungry. My favourite way to eat strawberries is with sugar sprinkled on them and some whipped cream.
PANCAKE: Stop making me hungry. I never really questioned the name “pancake” until I realized one day that it’s literally a CAKE IN A PAN. It doesn’t taste like cake. It tastes like cake’s ugly cousin. I only like pancakes when I want to be tired and lazy for a whole day. I like French toast better. Or waffles. There’s something really satisfying about filling every pocket with syrup.
SCHNITZLE: I’ve only eaten this a few times in my life. Is it a pork product? I don’t know. I know it tastes good and we used to eat it on special occasions at Maximillions.
TINSEL: I love tinsel a lot, but we never have it on our Christmas tree. I would buy tinsel just to hang it in my room if I could. On second thought, it’s kind of ugly and itchy.
SACCHARINE: I don’t know what this either, but it makes me think of the word “sapphire”. I have such a small vocabulary. I used to own a book about a sapphire fairy. It was a part of the “Rainbow Magic” series. That series must have about 2000 books by now. I wonder if the author has a team of writers.
EFFERVESCENT: This word makes me think of bright lights and fireworks and sunlight shining through a window onto a cement floor. The word has nothing to do with light. I guess fireworks and light are lively and exciting, so it makes sense. Again, my vocabulary is terrible. I used this in a poem once. In the poem, a person put his hand on a window and lit it with an “effervescent tattoo”. That’s probably why I think of light and handprints.